Malaria in Malawi is a serious and serial killer, and is often accepted as ‘part of life’ whilst malarial education moves at an asthmatic rate. The numbers of subsidised or ‘free’ nets are woefully inadequate and are often redeployed as hut-window coverings or fishing nets. To the better heeled there is the local chemical option, disturbingly branded “Doom”. Banned from Guantanamo Bay on account of being a bit too toxic, this bi-product of agent-orange is only on sale in countries where health and safety does not translate. Capable of taking down an Airbus in mid–flight, the noxious gas emitting from the orange topped can will extinguish all known life forms for the foreseeable future; apart from that is, the mouse size cockroaches found in our hut.

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